Earlier today I said goodbye to my dear friend. My group project teammate. My friend I bitch about anything to. The friend who caused 80% of my laughter this past one year. The friend who, like me, daydreams about lying on the beach somewhere in Spain when we're bored in class. The friend whose cooking and pancakes I'm going to miss dearly. The dear dear friend who happens to come from another country in another continent.
I don't know how many goodbyes I've had to say in the past 10 years. I guess it all started when I was 13, saying goodbye for the first time to my parents and siblings as I continued my studies in Singapore. I remember crying and not quite believing that I wasn't going to see them on daily basis like I was used to. I almost backed out. I just wanted to burst into tears and yell, "Mom and dad, I wanna go home with you. I changed my mind about studying abroad!" But I didn't. I held back my tears instead while waving goodbye.
Since then, I have been through so many farewells. I began to develop aversion to airports as I associate them with goodbye hugs and tears, the empty and hollow feelings that follow afterwards, like there's something missing. I don't think I'm very good at making new friends yet I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. My thirst for new experience and knowledge has led me to several different countries, and everytime I move somewhere new, I have to start all over again. My awkward self struggling to make small talks with new people. Then, when I found that friend I'm very comfortable with, it's time to say goodbye again.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the experience I have encountered so far. Very very grateful, in fact. It's just that sometimes the goodbye part... Why can't Doraemon's Anywhere Door be a real thing that really exists?
I can't emphasize enough how thankful I am for the friends I have made in my life so far. Friends that are scattered all over the globe. Yes, it is annoying not to be able to see each other physically as often as I would like but well.. we'll make do with the advances in technology until someone comes up with anywhere door, alright?
As for my friend who left Paris today, I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss having you 5 minutes away from me. I'm going to miss all those walks we had along the canal. I'm going to miss taking pictures with you at random spots in Paris. I'm going to miss hanging out at your place, chattering over dinner and wine. I might not know when or where I'm going to see you next but I know I will see you again.. soon, hopefully.
And who knows, we'll reunite in Paris someday, take that boat ride along the canal that we haven't had the chance to do, dressed in our bespoke Burberry trench coats we've been dreaming and been talking about for when we're no longer students and when we've finally made it.